What Holding Hands Means to a Guy: 23 Signs It Means More - Her Norm (2023)

Are you wondering what it means when someone holds your hand?

Perhaps you're aware that it doesn't always mean that someone is attracted to you, but maybe you don't know how to interpret when it does mean this?

If so, this is the article for you. It features a foolproof guide for how to tell when holding hands means something more.

Scroll down to learn more about what it means when your crush – or anyone else – holds your hand.

Table of Contents

Why Do Guys Like Holding Hands?

According to research, hand-holding releases Oxytocin, the feel-good/love hormone. Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that allows humans to develop deeper trust and connection with one another. It also decreases fear and anxiety. So, it’s no wonder men and women alike love holding hands, especially with a loved one.

Despite the fact that holding hands may seem like a somewhat small and insignificant gesture/display of affection, when it comes to dating, especially early on in a relationship, holding hands can feel like a pretty big step, and that’s because it actually is.

Humans generally only hold hands as a form of intimacy and as a way to strengthen their bond. So, if a guy takes your hand, he’s probably pretty into you!

Based on my personal experience, if a guy is making such an intimate gesture, you can pretty safely assume he sees you as more than just a friend. However, context is also important in this situation.

Holding Hands with Someone You're Not Dating

As mentioned above, context is important. So, let’s take a look at a couple of different scenarios:

  1. The two of you have a long history of a platonic relationship - if this is the case and he randomly takes your hand, it could simply indicate his love and concern for you, as a friend.
  2. If you’re hurt, crying, or obviously upset, a guy might take your hand as a way of showing genuine concern for you and it might be his way of providing you with some comfort.
  3. If you’re on a date with someone and they take your hand, in my opinion, it’s a sure sign he/she likes you a lot and you can safely assume things are moving in the direction of something more than just friends.

Think about it, generally when you see two people holding hands you automatically assume they’re together and in love. Humans crave physical contact and touch, and just like kissing, cuddling, and foreplay, hand-holding releases Oxytocin - and that feels so good!

How to Tell When Holding Hands Means More - 23 Tips

1. He wants everyone to know you’re his

What Holding Hands Means to a Guy: 23 Signs It Means More - Her Norm (1)

If a guy holds your hand in public, it’s a romantic gesture that shows that he wants a deeper connection with you. It’s also his way of showing others that you’re his and he’s proud of it.

Holding hands in public can be seen as a big step in the early days of dating, even though it’s a small gesture because it’s a way of making sure the public knows you’re both involved with someone.

2. He wants to protect you

Holding someone’s hand can also be a way of providing them with protection. If you’ve ever held hands with someone you love, you’ll be able to relate to the feelings of safety, comfort, and protection it provides.

Next time a guy holds your hand, it could be because he wants you to know that you’re safe when you’re with him.

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3. He loves your company

If he holds your hand often, it means he loves being around you and having you in his personal space. This intimate gesture shows he cares about you and has feelings for you.

So, next time he grabs your hand in public, in bed, or in any setting, really, take it as a sign that he loves having you around.

4. It’s his way of bonding with you

Physical touch is very important in any intimate relationship because it strengthens the bond between two people. Holding hands is a way of displaying affection and bonding as more than just friends.

Next time, take note of the way he holds your hand - interlocking fingers, rubbing your thumb while holding hands, or if a guy squeezes your hand while holding it are all sure signs he’s into you and wants to deepen the connection.

5. He doesn’t want you to reject him

If a guy holds your hand it might be his way of hinting that he doesn’t want to be rejected by you. Many men fear being rejected in intimate relationships and him taking your hand could be his way of seeking reassurance. It could be his way of subtly telling you that he wants to be with you.

6. It’s his way of warding off other men and women

If a guy holds your hand in front of others, it’s his way of warding off anyone else who might have their eyes on you.

On the contrary, it might also be his way of avoiding any potentially uncomfortable or flirtatious situation with other women.

If he holds your hand in public, you can rest assured that he’s probably not a player. This simple yet intimate gesture, shows everyone else that he’s happily involved.

7. He’s testing the waters to see where he stands

Before making any other big moves, he might try holding hands with you to see where he stands with you and what your reaction is like. If you reject him, there’s very little chance he will try anything else because it’ll be an obvious sign that you’re not into it.

If, on the other hand, you’re receptive to holding hands, he might be more confident to make bolder relationship moves because it’ll reassure him of your feelings for him.

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8. He’s in love with you

If a guy is in love with you, he’s going to want to hold hands regularly. Holding hands is an easy way to show affection, deepen intimacy through physical touch, and express love. Holding hands is sure to give you a feel-good buzz that, in time, deepens your feelings for each other.

Where and How He Holds Your Hand Could Also Have Different Meanings

1. He holds your hand in public

What Holding Hands Means to a Guy: 23 Signs It Means More - Her Norm (2)

If a man is holding your hand in public, it straight away means that he’s into you and wants to be your partner!

When a man goes to hold your hand in front of other people, he’s showing himself to be vulnerable in front of you, and he is more than happy to show this vulnerability simply because he knows that he will be much happier holding your hand, than miss the opportunity to touch each other.

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He will also be happy to show this vulnerability because he knows it’ll make you happy to hold hands with him.

2. He puts his hand on top of yours

If he puts his hand on top of yours, it shows that he’s trying to tell you that you can rely on him and that he will make sure you’re safe and happy. You should experience a feeling of security and comfort when a guy does this, and that’s exactly what he’s hoping for.

3. He wraps his fingers around your fingers

If someone holds your hand with interlaced fingers, it’s because they want to feel close to you and develop a more serious kind of intimacy between the two of you – they want to be a couple and start a proper relationship.

When a guy holds your hand while interlocking fingers increases the depth of the gesture and his connection with you, and shows you that he’s serious about starting a relationship.

4. He’s face-to-face with you when holding your hand

If he sits or stands face-to-face with you whilst he holds your hand, or both of your hands, it’s a sure sign that he is emotionally interested in you and wants a relationship with you.

In fact, it’s probably safe to say that he’s already developed a connection with you and is most likely falling in love with. When a guy holds your hands like this, he’s most likely saying sweet things to you at the same time, or he’s ready to lean in for a kiss.

5. He’s stroking your hand while he holds it

If you find a man stroking your hand with his fingertips or gently massaging your hand while he’s got a grip of it, it’s because he wants to make you feel comforted and loved, and he wants to deepen the connection the two of you have with each other.

Someone that’s doing this will obviously be romantically interested in you, especially seeing as this is typically a type of hand-holding that couples do.

6. He grips your hand around other guys

If he gets a good grip of your hand while you’re both around other guys, it’s because he wants to show them that you’ve taken and that he’s the one you’re with.

Obviously, he’s doing this so that no one else makes a move because he likes you. The grip shouldn’t be too hard, but it will be an assertive kind of grip, showing others that you’re his significant other and that they shouldn’t come near.

7. He puts his arm around you and holds your hand

If a person puts their arm around you and then gestures for you to take their hand as well, it’s a sure sign that they’re seriously interested in having a relationship with you and that they want to be a couple.

He’s choosing to have this body language like this so that he can get close to you, and almost take up the space that you’re in.

8. He kisses your hand while holding it

Even though it might sometimes be a little corny (associated with lots of movies), a person kissing you on your hand is an unbelievably romantic way for them to show you that they want to be a couple.

They will be kissing you there to make sure you know, loud and clear, that they want a romantic relationship with you and want to be your partner.

Men also think that women love this, so they will give it a go! They are just trying to flirt with you and impress you in an obvious way. Also, they might kiss you a lot, not just once, so be prepared!

9. He holds both your hands in his

A woman typically has much smaller hands than a man, and men obviously know this, so they use it to their advantage a lot of the time. A man will take both of a woman’s hands in his to make her feel safe, secure, and comforted by him.

He may also do this while saying kind words, to deepen the connection, enhance feelings, and create a more intimate moment.

Men clearly do this when they want to start a relationship.

(Video) 3 Things Men Do When They Are Highly Attracted To You | Dating Advice for Women by Mat Boggs

10. He puts your arm through his

Although you may walk arm in arm with others that you have platonic relationships with (women and men potentially), a man that puts your arm through his whilst you’re walking along is a man that is trying to give you obvious signs that he not only wants to hold your hand and touch you physically but that he wants a romantic relationship with you, too.

Men that are Particularly Shy Might Do This, Rather than Actually Holding Hands

1. He gently squeezes your hand

What Holding Hands Means to a Guy: 23 Signs It Means More - Her Norm (3)

A man might squeeze your hand if he is teasing you, joking around with you, or trying to show you that he likes you. If a man squeezes your hand three times, it’s actually a coded way of saying, “I like you.”

A man might do this if he is trying to show you that he likes you through touch and actions, rather than through words because he’s shy or nervous.

2. Holding your hand while driving

If a guy holds your hand while driving or puts his hand on your lap, it’s a sure sign he’s into you. It’s his way of showing affection and protection all at once. He might even do this subconsciously, which is an even bigger sign that he has true feelings for you.

You might agree that there are very few things that feel as good as holding your crush’s hand while driving along to your favorite songs.

3. Holding your hand while crossing the road

In this case, holding hands means he’s trying to protect you and show you that he cares for your safety and well-being.

If you’ve only recently started seeing each other and want to test the waters to see just how into you he is, reach for his hand next time you’re crossing a busy street. If he takes your hand, interlocks fingers, and is slow to let go of your hand, it’s a sure sign he’s into you.

If, on the other hand, he doesn’t do any of this, perhaps he’s shy - not everyone is into public displays of affection or, perhaps, he doesn’t see you as anything more than a friend.

4. If he holds your hand around family

This is a really obvious, reassuring sign that the man you’re with is serious about you and your relationship together. If he holds your hand in front of your family or his, it’s a big step in the right direction. Holding hands in this scenario is sure to give everyone around a positive feeling about the relationship.

A guy holding your hand in front of family is a kind way to reassure you that he’s got your back and is serious about you. It shows support and validation in an unfamiliar situation, which is very reassuring and shows the type of guy he is. You’ve got yourself a keeper!

5. Holding your hand on a first date

Holding hands on a first date isn’t for everyone. Some people prefer to get to know someone better before holding hands. If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t feel obliged to hold hands on a first date.

However, holding hands on a first date is also not uncommon or taboo. It’s simply a nice way to show someone you care and are interested in them. Another reason he might be into holding hands on a first date is because he’s an anxious person and it’s his way of feeling calmer and more connected.

Whatever the reason is, don’t overthink holding hands on a first date. Go with whatever you feel comfortable with.


Is holding hands a sign of love?

Holding hands is a sign of love, even if it’s not romantic love. Most commonly, people in romantic relationships will hold hands, but parents and children, and even friends do so too. If you hold hands with someone, it’s because you genuinely care for them and want to show them affection, even when you’re in public. It shows that you’re a pair, and potentially that the person you’re holding hands with is your partner!

How do you tell if a guy is falling for you?

You will be able to tell if a man is falling for you if he’s trying to spend more and more time with you, if he’s complimenting you, if he’s trying to get you alone, if he’s trying to figure out if you have any other partners or someone else, if he’s using excuses to be close to you and touch you, and if his body language is telling you. If a guy likes you, he will try to touch and hold you, even if he tries to do it in a casual or jokey way to try and disguise his feelings.

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Is holding hands more intimate than kissing?

Holding hands is thought by a large majority of people to be a more intimate act than kissing. This is because although kissing typically happens between a couple, you can kiss a one-night stand or someone that you actually don’t have feelings for. However, holding hands is a way of showing affection for a loved one and showing that you’re partners, especially if it’s done in public.

Would a guy hold your hand if he wasn’t interested?

As mentioned, there are a variety of different situations where a guy might want to hold your hand. Holding hands doesn’t necessarily mean he’s interested in you as more than friends, although, in my opinion, most guys will only hold your hand if they are interested in you and are developing feelings for you.

Other scenarios where a guy might hold your hand even if he isn’t interested, include:

Him showing his concern for you.
Him trying to protect you.

Is holding hands on a first date okay?

Yes, absolutely! Holding hands on a first date is a cute way to bond, get to know each other better, and show some form of intimacy. As mentioned, I wouldn’t overthink this small gesture, just go with whatever feels right to you on the first date.


If you weren’t really sure what the different types of hand-holding meant before now, or you didn’t know if holding hands meant more, now you can go out into the world using the knowledge you’ve learned and confirmed whether or not men are interested in you by looking at their actions!

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What does holding hands mean to a guy? ›

Holding someone's hand could be for the most intimate or the most platonic reason that there is. Being one of the mutual attraction signs, we look for the one we love, to hold onto when we're scared or feeling low. It gives us comfort, security, and a sense of being home.

How does a guy feel when a girl holds his hand? ›

Holding hands invokes a positive feeling about one another, so you both feel sexy and wanted. It's almost like foreplay." Cue all the feels: Just like massage, kissing, and hugging, “research shows that touch, like holding hands, releases oxytocin, a neurotransmitter that gives you that feel-good buzz,” says Coleman.

Does holding hands a certain way mean anything? ›

Holding hands can express affection, comfort, warmth, pain release, safety, psychological closeness, and empathy. To many, hand holding can mean the world, while others may not be so keen to hold hands. Couples holding hands can reflect formality, familiarity, superiority, and even submissiveness.

What does interlocking fingers mean to a guy? ›

Interlocked fingers: When couples interlock their fingers, it shows a deeper connection, and that the person is more vulnerable and emotionally and physically connected at that moment. Non-interlocked fingers suggest a more casual relationship.

How does a guy hold your hand if he likes you? ›

He loves your company

When a guy wants to be with you, he will always hold your hands in private and public. For example, if he is in bed, you might notice that his hands are locked in yours. Also, he might be holding hands on first date to show that he already loves your company and wants to spend more time with you.

How romantic is holding hands? ›

In terms of romance, handholding is often used in the early stages of dating or courtship to express romantic interest in a partner. Handholding is also common in advanced stages of a romantic relationship where it may be used to signify or seek solace and reassurance.

What are the signs that he likes you? ›

22 Subtle Signs A Guy Likes You, From Dating Experts
  • He leans toward you during conversation.
  • He angles his body toward you in the room.
  • He finds small ways to compliment you.
  • He makes eye contact.
  • He steals a glance at you.
  • He singles you out in a group.
  • He seems drawn to you in the room.
Nov 26, 2021

Does holding hands with a girl mean anything? ›

Holding hands is a way of showing our affection

Obviously, we hold hands with partners to show them we love them. And research shows that couples who often hold hands express less anger and more satisfaction with their relationship than those who do not.

Is holding hands showing affection? ›

Holding hands doesn't just have a romantic connotation, though — it's also associated with support, solidarity, affection, friendship, and reconciliation. Think: a friend just placing their hand on yours to reassure and console you, or offer you support.

What psychology says about holding hands? ›

A. People hold hands for many reasons, but if there is a single common denominator unifying them all, it's probably a felt sense of security – a sense that we are not alone that brings with it the knowledge that we have a companion, a helper, a guide, another mind who knows about and is interested in ours.

Why is holding hands so powerful? ›

Holding hands is even more powerful because when we interlace our fingers, the pressure in the touch slows our heart rate, decreases our blood pressure, and puts us in a more relaxed state. Even when we are subjected to pain and discomfort, we generate less of the stress hormone cortisol if we are holding hands.

What does holding someone's hand mean? ›

hold someone's hand

to help and support someone in a new or difficult situation.

When a guy holds your hand and interlocks fingers? ›

If your partner intertwines the fingers when he or she holds your hands, this signifies love runs deep through the veins of your relationship. It is also a sign the bond is based on more than just physical attraction. Love, trust, care and respect are the four pillars of the relationship.

What does holding up 4 fingers mean for guys? ›

holding 4 fingers up in a photo is a secret way of saying you are a homosexual/gay.

What does it mean when a guy puts his hands into a heart shape at you? ›

Two hands forming a heart shape. Used to express love and support.

Is holding hands more intimate than kissing? ›

It's more committed than a kiss. It's more intimate than sitting on someone's knee. It's not just affectionate, it's the sign of a bond.

What happens when you hold hands with someone you like? ›

Boosts Oxytocin

Holding hands also makes you feel good. Physical touch with a partner like cuddling, hugging, and hand holding triggers the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin is often called “the love hormone” because it is released during an orgasm.

How do guys initiate holding hands? ›

Place your hand next to theirs.

If you're sitting side by side, place your hand down by your lap so it almost touches theirs. If they're feeling bold, they might even reach out and grab your hand first. This is a super subtle way to ask someone to hold hands.

Is holding hands a form of cuddling? ›

7. Holding hands. Like the leg hug and the cheek to cheek, this cuddle position respects the individual comfort of each partner, while still valuing touch. Holding hands signifies support and partnership.

Is holding hands a love language? ›

Physical touch is one of the five love languages, and it refers to expressing and receiving affection through touch, physical closeness, and other forms of physical connection. Kissing, hugging, holding hands, and sex are all ways of showing love through the physical touch love language.

How do guys drop hints that they like you? ›

Guys that are into you often use lots of emojis, text first, or even double text. Watch for in-person signs, like holding eye contact, respectful little touches, or leaning in close. A follow-up text after a date or hangout, or a raincheck when he can't make it are sure signs that he wants to spend more time with you.

How do you know if a man is slowly falling for you? ›

A man who is starting to fall for you is likely to become far more touchy-feely than before. He will often make physical contact while talking to you and is always looking for an excuse to get close. This is a sign that he is comfortable enough with himself and with you to express his feelings physically.

How do you know if a guy is serious about you? ›

7 Signs To Tell if a Guy Is Serious About You
  • He Listens to You. If a guy is serious about you, he will really listen and he won't take anything you say for granted. ...
  • He Makes Future Plans. ...
  • He Checks Up on You. ...
  • He Helps You with Any Problem. ...
  • He Makes You a Priority. ...
  • He Does Thoughtful Things. ...
  • He Introduces You to His Friends.

What does it mean when a guy kisses your hand while holding it? ›

If a man kisses your hand, he is sort of a flirt. Someone who is confident enough to grab your hand and kiss it, only to woo you into their web of charm. It is a gesture of sophistication, so might just do the trick for them sometimes.

Is holding hands a friend thing? ›

Holding Hands Is a Sign of Friendship Around the World

In many other parts of the world, however, there's nothing unusual about it at all. Friends and family in many cultures hold hands for no other reason than to feel comfortable with one another.

How do guys touch you to show affection? ›

He touches you often

Does he tend to pat your hand or arm when talking? The more he touches you, the more he loves you. Men probably tend to touch you unobtrusively and non-sexually if they're into you. A simple touch can convey a more striking and direct message than many words.

Is touching hands intimate? ›

Examples of physical intimacy include being inside someone's personal space, holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing and sexual activity. Physical intimacy can often convey the real meaning or intention of an interaction in a way that accompanying speech cannot do.

What are 4 amazing benefits of holding hands? ›

Holding hands strengthens relationships, soothes anxiety, reduces stress and diminishes pain. Unlike PDA, holding hands is the rare socially acceptable public act of intimacy. It can be performed by anyone of any gender, anywhere, anytime, at any age.

What does squeezing someone's hand mean? ›

to squeeze someone's arm or hand gently as a way of expressing friendship, sympathy, or love. Synonyms and related words. Expressing affection physically.

What is the interlocking finger test? ›

The interlocking finger test (ILFT) is a bedside cognitive test of imitation of manual gestures that evaluates a combination of cognitive abilities. • The performance of healthy subjects on ILFT was influenced by age, but not by education or gender.

What's the thumb thing guys do? ›

For those of you who don't know, the thumb thing is a phenomenon where a male will place his hand on a person and subsequently start grazing his thumb back and forth on said person in an absentminded fashion.

What does it mean when a guy squeezes your hand 3 times? ›

Twice is, “I am here and I care.” Three times means, “I am here, I care, and I love you”.

What does holding up 3 fingers mean? ›

Protesters have since added symbolism to the gesture, stating that the three fingers stand for the French Revolutionary ideal of liberty, equality, fraternity.

What does holding up 2 fingers mean? ›

to express anger at someone in a very rude way by holding up your first two fingers in the shape of a 'V' with your palm facing you. Synonyms and related words. To use a particular gesture to communicate something.

What does 4 fingers up mean 2023? ›

Known as the "silent signal," the trend saw users tucking in their thumbs into their palms, holding four fingers up faced forward, and then closing them into a fist. This is meant to signal that someone is in danger, according to Distractify.

How do you know if a guy has a good heart? ›

17 Traits of Good-Hearted People
  • They can empathize with other's feelings. ...
  • They will defend those who cannot defend themselves. ...
  • They know how to put someone else before themselves. ...
  • They will stand up for their beliefs. ...
  • They are good listeners. ...
  • Good-hearted people will help out in times of need. ...
  • They will always keep a secret.

What are the hand signs for love? ›

To sign I love you in American Sign Language (ASL), point out your thumb and index finger to form an “L”. While keeping them extended, lift your little finger. Your middle and ring finger keep touching your palm. Finally, direct your hand towards the person you are talking to.

What does 😘 mean from a guy? ›

😘 Face Throwing a Kiss emoji

The winky-kissy face throwing a kiss emoji, or kissing face, is mostly used to express romantic affection or appreciation for someone or something.

How do you tell if a guy is falling for you? ›

For example, you can watch his body language. He's likely to turn his body towards you when in conversation and to make eye contact with you. He may pay attention to you more than others that are around. He's also likely to try spending time with you more than with others when he's falling in love.

Does holding hands count as flirting? ›

Of course someone who tries to hold your hand is into you. It's on the bolder side of flirting, but it still definitely counts. They ask you out. It can seem like a “no duh,” but for many people, being asked out directly is so rare that it can feel confusing when it actually happens.

How do you know if he wants a relationship or a fling? ›

Men looking for a fling will not invest their time in you. If a man wants a relationship, he will make plans to meet you and will not ghost you or leave you without any response. If he is interested, you will not have to seek his attention continuously. If you are doing so, it means he is not into you.

What body language shows a guy in love? ›

A man in love tends to lean his shoulders towards his love interest. It is one of the indications of adoration. If he leans his shoulders towards you when he's close to you, he's romantic and cares about what you have to say. He will lean in and create a space that incorporates you two.

What is the meaning of holding hands? ›

Definition of 'hold hands'

If two people are holding hands, they are holding each other's nearest hand, usually while they are walking or sitting together. People often do this to show their affection for each other. She approached a young couple holding hands on a bench.

Does holding hands increase attraction? ›

Oxytocin is often called “the love hormone” because it is released during an orgasm. Hand holding offers a smaller release of the hormone and can help strengthen feelings of closeness and connection outside the bedroom.

What is considered flirty touching? ›

1. Flirty Touching. Touching is a powerful way to communicate your attraction to someone and can help build a sense of intimacy between you. Flirty touching can range from a subtle light touch on the arm to a more intimate embrace.

Is holding hands public display of affection? ›

As many people know, PDA is 'Public Display of Affection' which is showing affection to someone else in a public area. PDA can be hugging, kissing, holding hands, touching, and many more ways of showing affection. It also can be performed with any type of relationship like dating or married, friendships, and much more.


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